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Thanks for connecting! You're almost done. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. We previously chronicled how in the Internet age, the whole sex toy thing has gotten completely, terrifyingly out of hand.

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Humans have been using sex toys for an extraordinarily long time. Bonobos and apes indulge in sexual play, so it's not really surprising; but we've been discovering sex toys that are up to 30, years old, made from chalk, stone, and other crude materials though anything would look a bit beaten up if it was that old. You'll grip your humble vibrator a little closer while reading about these bizarre sex toys in history.

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Once we started doing some research on sex toys, we realized that we lived in a sexual bubble. From rubber ducky personal massagers to dildos that look like they belong in an art gallery, some of these toys you truly have to see to believe. Hopefully some of these weird sex toys will allow you to do just that.

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